


I Promise

by theparanoidwriter



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, OC Character Death, cancer on oc, homophobia reference, lost family member, otherwise it's actually pretty fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:50:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2805011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theparanoidwriter/pseuds/theparanoidwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>short Jeanmarco fluff:D</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Promise

**Author's Note:**

> this is old. as in REALLY OLD. as in like January 2014 old.  
> but I figured I should upload this here.  
> I hope you all enjoy~  
> *hopes this isn't too god awful*

Jean toyed with the ring in his hands, hunched over on the marble bench. His thumb ran over the grooves, and his mind flashed with memories as he took in every scratch.

With it, he saw his sister’s smiling face and her copper curls, deadly as they flew with each movement of her head. She was so animated in everything she did, there was always a smile on her face. You would never know that she was dying from cancer. Even as the disease sapped the luster from her hair and sunk in her cheekbones, she was as bright as ever up until her last minute. Then as they all sat there in the hospital room, she drew her last breath.

They didn’t need the machine flat lining to know because one moment they were overwhelmed with her presence and the next there was a void. Chills ran through everybody’s spine, but not a single one cried. Her spirit might still be ascending and their tears would deter her as she tried to comfort them.

He bit his lip and turned the ring over in his hand, hoping that his sister’s ring would give him the courage to do what needed to be done.

"Jean, what are you doing out here? It’s freezing."

Jean shoved the ring into his pocket and said nothing.

Marco’s smile never faltered.

"Look, if you don’t want to tell them just yet then we won’t. But if you stay out here any longer, you’ll get sick."

Jean took out the ring again the second the door shut behind Marco. Everyone was in there - his parents, Marco’s parents, their friends, family, coworkers… He wasn’t the only one with a lot at stake but his family was broken enough as it was and he couldn’t bare to see the disgust he already knew that would await their announcement.

A chip in the ring brought back the memory of its creation. It was the day before she died.

Jean was rushing to go meet up with his friends at the arcade. They’d given him a lot of flack for ditching them to hang out with Marco. His blood still broiled from their accusations that he was in love with him. He’d received detention for decking one of them. Asshole got what he deserved, a broken nose.

"Hey Jean!"

Jeanette. He poked his head in.

"What do you want? I’ve got places to go."

She didn’t react to his tone, but waved him over.

"What?"

She opened her hand to show him a circular bit of metal.

"What do you see?"

"A ring. Can I go now?"

She brought him back with a touch on his shoulder.

"Look closer."

"Okay, a crappy broken ring."

She shook her head and brought it to eye level.

"Yes, it’s a ring, but look at all the scratches and dents. They’re all important. Each one came from when we were playing. I can’t get rid of it because it’s special to me. You gave it to me after you found it on the street and I hardly ever take it off."

He tugged, but she brought him back.

"Every scratch or piece of dirt are times we spent together. It’s something of your love that I can hold."

"What are you getting at?"

She placed it in his hands.

"I’m giving it to you, to make memories with and then give it to them."

Jean groaned. His sister and her sentiments.

"Who would I even give it to?

She didn’t miss a heartbeat.

"Marco."

Fuck this. He wasn’t doing this.

"Bye, Jeanette."

"Jean!"

He cursed himself as he turned back.

"Jean, it’s okay that you love Marco. He’s a wonderful guy and he’d help balance you out. He loves you too, you know."

Jean glanced around before storming over to her.

"Don’t you say something like that again! I don’t like Marco, okay? He’s a little bitch and I only hung out with him because I felt sorry for the guy."

He wanted to leave it at that, but she pushed again.

"Jean, I’m here for you, okay? I love you no matter what."

His mind swirled with the guy’s words.

Why don’t you just go sign up for theater, Kirschtein?

There’s a church down the block. Maybe you’ll be forgiven.

No wonder you love wrestling. All that close contact. Bet you enjoy it. Relish every second you’re clad together, sweat running down your face. Sick fuck.

His father always commented on gays burning in hell and cringed at every gay individual on television.

If I catch you with another male, don’t come home.

They’re disgusting.

He couldn’t be. Wouldn’t be. Jean Kirschtein was no homosexual.

"Jean? Jean?"

He clenched his fists until the ring’s rough edges cut into his palm.

"Fuck you! I’m not gay!"

He opened his hand.

"And fuck this ring!"

He hurled it at the floor. It clattered and one piece flew astray as he stormed out of the room.

He had a terrible time the whole time because he kept thinking about what he’d said to Marco, his sister. The lies he’d told them and the lies he’d told himself. He knew all too well that the feelings he felt for the sweet, freckled boy were ones he shouldn’t feel.

There was too many times they had almost done something. Something that everyone would shun them for. He thought that maybe if he avoided Marco that it would put his mind at rest but it made those feelings even worse. He couldn’t be like this. He would change.

But something else changed that night. He got the call at 9:00 that night and ran the whole way to the hospital. Four miles.

Everybody else was there : Mom, Dad and even Marco was there. Jean avoided Marco’s gaze and went to his sister’s bedside.

"Hey Jeanette."

"Hey, Jeanie."

He had to restrain himself. She was dying and yet there she sat smiling as if everything was okay.

"Jeanette, I’m so-"

She pressed her finger against his lips.

"I’ll have none of that. Just promise me something."

He felt the cold metal in his hand. He didn’t need to look down; he knew what it was.

"Jeanette."

"You know I’m right. Promise me you’ll give it to him when the time is right."

She closed his hand around the ring and kissed his forehead.

"Jeanette, please."

"Promise me and I can go. I’ll watch you, too, Jean Kirschtein. I’ll haunt you until then."

He couldn’t tell her no, and she wouldn’t be there to keep him on his word so he forced a smile and kissed her cheek.

"I promise."

"You’ll make each other happy, Jean. That’s all I want."

Her hand fell limp in his hand.

"Jean? Jean. You moron!"

He almost face planted from the shove. The culprits stood before him. Connie and Sasha.

"What the fuck was that for?!"

"Free, no charge. Now get your ass inside."

Jean was grabbed by his collar and dragged inside then dumped on the floor. Connie shut the door behind him and both of them left as Marco’s worried face came into view.

"I’m sorry, Jean. Sasha and Connie-"

"Are assholes. Yeah, I know."

Marco helped him up.

"We can-"

"No. We’re doing this."

Jean’s grip tightened on the ring in his pocket. Jeanette died 10 years ago. It took him 5 years of denial and rage before he finally managed to confess to Marco.

They went on their first day a year later and their second a year after. Then their dates grew more frequent, but they were always a secret.

Jeanette died when she was 14. He was 16 and he put down her words because he was older and thought he knew better. She’d known since the beginning though, from the first play date the two had, she knew that they were meant for each other. As much as it tore at him and rattled him to think of what might happen if he were to hold Marco’s hand in public, and these feelings he had for him kept him up late at night…Marco made him happy in a way that nobody else could.

Jean took Marco’s hand in his own and walked back to the party.

"Jean, you"

"Marco, please don’t say anything before I change my mind."

They barged into the room.

"Marco and I have something to tell you."

Marco rested his hand on Jean’s shoulder. He had his support.

"Marco and I…"

He fought over his words and turned to Marco for courage.

"We’re dating."

All noise in the room halted. A cracker dropped and everybody heard it.

Jean avoided everyone’s gaze and fought the lump in his throat. This was it. High school all over again.

He waited for insults, but instead he heard Connie grumble as he handed Reiner twenty dollars.

"What the fuck?"

Reiner laughed and everybody else followed.

What?

He stepped forward and slapped him on the shoulder.

"We all knew, Jean."

Connie grumbled again,” I always thought Marco would be the one to say it.”

Similar comments rang out, leaving the two boys looking at each other for answers.

"You think we didn’t notice the goo goo eyes you gave each other?"

They both blushed, they thought nobody had seen and all their worry was for nothing.

Jean looked to his parents who seemed hesitant and uncomfortable, but smiled back at him. Marco’s parents smiled brightly at both of them.

He squeezed Marco’s hand as he felt his adrenaline rush. While others walked up to say something, Jean used it to his advantage. He whirled Marco to face him.

"Marco, you’ve always been there for me, even when I wasn’t there for you and you make me smile even when I don’t want to."

The onlookers anticipated  a kiss with the tension. Jean could only imagine their shock, and Marco’s when he pulled away and reached into his pocket.

"I might not have been there all the time before, but I promise I will now."

He pulled out his sister’s ring.

"Marco Bodt, will you marry me?"

Someone squealed in the crowd, but Jean didn’t look. He looked down, face flushed now as the adrenaline ebbed away. He was terrible to Marco. He could understand if Marco said no. If he were in Marco’s position he probably would have said no.

But he wasn’t Marco and Marco wasn’t him.

Marco smiled brightly and answered yes.

Jean slipped the ring on his finger, allowed no time before Marco brought their mouths together. He melted into it and when Marco pulled away, embraced him tightly.

He whispered,”How did I do?”

Two voices answered,”I’m so proud of you.”


End file.
